Today I’m making peace of mind a priority.
It’s been a hectic couple of weeks and as I sit here, I ache for quiet, routine, and connection to my inner self. It’s been over six weeks since the dogs went to day care and my husband went to his “office”. The barking commences with every truck that goes by, my husband comes in and out of the house when the mood suits, chatting about what trade took place or how many Facebook likes he’s gotten on a post. Worst of all, my characters are no more than paper-doll cutouts rather than the three dimensional images my fertile mind used to come up with.
My dog has been sick for close to a month, the sun has yet to come out for more than a day or two straight, and my imagination has taken a sabbatical. Is it burnout or depression? A combination of them both? I think it has more to do with my inability to spend thirty consecutive minutes of quiet time with my thoughts. I want to conjure again, through the magic of my muse, but the space where I used to listen is gone.
Maybe what I truly want is the return of in-person, face to face connections. A place to go to people watch, while people talk around me, where I can read body language, listen to the tone of voices, as human touch through eyes, ears, and heart becomes manifest. I’m out of sync, missing eye contact, hugs, painfully aware of how our new normal has left us unable to match that “infinitely fine-tuned communication system” that our bodies and brains crave.
The new issue of Psychology Today contains many articles about our changed world and how it is affecting us, how we can adapt, how to change, and why we shouldn’t look back on the halcyon days that existed only a few months ago. We’re all finding our way through this maze called the new reality, some faster than others. I have a feeling when the sun comes out tomorrow, my perspective will change and the day will seem brighter.
If I could only play some of my music, maybe the sun would come out today, if only metaphorically. And maybe, just maybe, my muse might be enticed out to dance again.
My husband will be going out to check his mail in a while… I can’t wait to ask Alexa for some Stevie Nicks, Keith Urban, or The Dixie Chicks. They might make all the difference.