It’s been a long time…

…since I’ve written and I’m beginning to understand why I’ve become lax with this one particular task.

I’m not good at small talk and if I had to label myself the tag would read introvert.

I never really knew this about myself. Only over the last couple of weeks, since writing about a scientist who is unskilled in many social contexts, have I learned what the term means and how it applies to me.  It doesn’t mean that I’m pre-occupied with myself to the exclusion of everything else, or that I like being alone all day without conversation and stimulation. I love meeting new people, I enjoy being challenged by new things. I need to feel a part of life to be productive.

The problem is when I’m in the midst of a large group of people with no script, I wither, shrivel up and retreat into a shell.

When I first started this blog, I thought I could do a weekly “fireside chat” only to find myself in front of the computer with nothing of value to say.  How many times could I talk about my books, the development of characters, or recommend books that I’ve read that are worth passing on. Blog writing is all about the small talk, chatting with people out there about a variety of subjects. I’m more into ideas, prefer one-on-one with friends.  I’m neither shy nor socially awkward, I just don’t like talking about nothing. for the sake of talking. It actually hurts.

I’m going to make the effort to find subjects that interest me, topics that I’m passionate about and then pretend I’m having a face-to-face conversation with a dear friend. Maybe then I can make this a weekly occurrence.

Please bear with me as I learn to own this new perspective of myself.